Glad to be home now, but I'm jetlagged. Which is nice going back since I'm awake at 4:30 am and I can be super productive!
Also, here's an email Andy sent me, since he never writes long letters to me, I am saving it:
K pottied this morning! She refused all morning and then just was we were about to leave, I gave us both a quick bath, and as I was drying her off, I set her on the potty and she asked me if she was going to get a treat after pottying (because my mother has been bribing her with blueberries, with mixed results). I said, "sure." And she pottied and then promptly forgot that she had been promised a treat and ran around naked for a couple minutes.
She was especially interested in your room this morning after sleeping in her own bed for the first night in a while. So at some point this morning she ran in there and curled up in the bed. I think she misses you on some core level.
My mom left the house pretty neat, so the cleaning lady is going to have her work cut out for her figuring out enough stuff to do today. And then she also put out a bunch of food in little containers to make packing K's lunches easier each day, and set out three sets of clothing for K to get dressed in the morning - it's all a bit overkill, but I'm not complaining. When I tried to put one of the outfits on K this morning she did rebel though and insisted on a pink top and her star pants. She's definitely got opinions about what clothes she likes at this point and pink is a huge part of the equation.
She had a blast with Sheila last night. I think Sheila just literally plays with her wall to wall when she's there. They read a ton of books and made the dolls dance and sing. Sheila apparently made herself sick a couple weeks ago working nonstop on the wedding, but was fully recovered and it sounds like their DIY wedding is on track. And Sheila is always super complimentary of K, which is nice because I think she means it, and she works with tons of children, so she's got a context for what most kids are like. She was saying how smart and charming, etc. K is.
K was great while we were locked out of the house. She clearly knew that something was wrong and apologized a couple times, although I don't know if she knows what she was apologizing for. If she's less eager to close that sliding door when she's outside then we'll know that she actually processed the cause and effect of that. Something to watch out for though, don't go outside with her on the porch and allow that door to close on you. Actually, if you order the exact same latch thing for the sliding door, I think I could install a second station that would lock the door open when you open it, so K can't close it on her own, and it would have to be closed from inside. Let's do that!
I'm actually pretty impressed with my ability to Macguyver my way back into the house. I literally used a bamboo stick to retrieve my keys through that tiny hole in the sliding door from all the way over in the bowl by the door. I didn't have to break a window or damage the doors. K played in her garden while I was doing all that, and then when I was using the neighbor's screwdriver to get the chain off the door, K kept running back over to their apartment and bringing me more tools from the tool kit that Abby opened up. She never seemed distressed, but she definitely knew that something out of the ordinary was happening. Once we were back in we read a couple books and had dinner.
Mom dropped her off in the morning yesterday and then headed back for Houston. I had a chock full day of meetings and yoga and trying to keep up with the giant list of things that I'm trying to knock down to something manageable. If I could slowly but surely do all the things that should have happened already, and only have a giant list of things that need to happen in the future, life will be good. But my inbox is zero and my @Action emails are zero, which is a good start.
Sunday we went to the farmers market in Mueller for brunch/lunch. We should do that more often. It's great. Lively crowds of people and tasty food. There's a woman with a couple of ponies that you can pay to put your kid on and ride around and get a couple photos, and I bet K would like that. She does run off at the drop of a hat still, so that's probably a good place to work on that skill of staying with us. She loves water, so we have to be careful anytime we're somewhere like that or Central Market that is right next to a pond, because she heads straight for the pond.
Then mom took her by Thinkery for a bit, which K always loves. Then later Sunday evening we went by the downtown library to return books and let K run around, and Mexican food for dinner at Matt's El Rancho.
Let's do a brunch with just you and me at Fonda San Miguel at some point soon! Someone mentioned that recently and I had forgotten how tasty that place is. We'll have to figure out a sitter because it's on Sunday, but I bet we could leave K with Mike and Cara for a morning.
Love you! Come home today!
Went to harrods. Saw a 900 British pounds kid's dress. Ridiculous.
Lunch was another mediocre Chinese food at London Chinatown.
Then did some shopping.
Backstage tour at the royal opera house was amazing. I got to see the orchestra rehearse and also the royal ballet rehearse sleeping beauty.
Then wondered around covent garden and got to try some delicious tea.
Dinner was with Todd and Beth and it was lovely.
Time to pack!
Eurostared back. Bag now has 20 children books and is sooo hard to navigate around the Paris metro and the tube. Lots of stairs.
Got to kings cross and had a delicious lunch at dishoom with Todd Hester. He also showed me the google uk hq.
Then after that I met up may and we went to the warner bros studio tour. Photos below.
Ramen dinner at tonkatsu in Chinatown.
Then picked up my luggage at st pancras and took it all the way to east London to Todd's place.
Woke up at 5:45 am to get to kings cross/st pancras.
Found platform 9 1/2
Got into the euro star and went under the English Channel!
Fell asleep in the train with a blindfold and headphones.
Paris is harder as a tourist then London. The metro isn't as user friendly and I got stuck in some train before realizing it was out of service. And I used to live in NYC.
Plenty of soldiers with machine guns at tour sites.
Also seems dirtier then London.
London has less historical building tho, Paris is crowded with them.
The food here is so good. Had one of the best pates I've ever had in my life. Mindblowingly good. The rib eye was over cooked ironically.
Wine is cheap and delicious.
P�tes are great.
I ate �clairs and crepes.
Still can't seem to get out of bed earlier then 10 am. Still struggling with jet lag.
Chinatown for mediocre lunch, since there weren't many options before noon.
Ended up getting delayed anyways because of tube work delays.
Got to the Tower of London and learned sad history stories.
Saw the Crown Jewels.
Saw the Crown Jewels four times since I kept circling back as there was no lines.
Dinner at Coventry market with Todd and Beth. I miss them!
Swing by uniqlo and regent street but spent a lot of time trying to find a place to pee. Boo tourist areas. Thank you, Starbucks. My favorite coffee shop.
Home to do laundry and pack for tomorrow's way too early trip that I can hopefully wake up for.
Couldn't sleep till 5 am and forced myself to wake up at 10 am. Jet lag sucks!
I had booked a hop on hop off bus tour, which ended up being a great decision as it was an easy way to explore London. I hopped off at Westminster and also Buckingham palace. Got off at st Paul's and also found the millennium bridge and walked over it to Tate modern.
Dinner at Chinatown with May and then we saw the first part of Harry Potter and it blew my mind. The Magic and how they did stuff was so so good.
Amazing second day. I'm falling in love with London.
I did have a hard time sleeping prob because of jet lag.
The airport agents were wonderful and friendly, and the underground/tube guy helped me get the right oyster card that I needed.
It was a bit convulated to get to May's place. But convoluted like NYC, so I got it down. It took forever on the tube though, and it got pretty crowded.
When I got to May's, it was around noon and I was wiped so I napped, presumable for 2 hours but it turned into 3 hours, and it took a huge amount of willpower to force myself to wake up to break the jetlag cycle.
We had dinner at a lovely pub called the Whale and the Ship.
Also, May scored us tickets to see the Harry Potter play.
So far, it's been really lovely. I love how british everything is, I love the classical music every where and "way out" instead of exit. It's great.
The last 4 weeks have been miserable.
The day before Christmas at the Indian Lodge, I started to bleed. It was too early for my period. So I thought it may be implantation bleeding. But usually those don't last that long, and four days later I was still bleeding, so I thought that I miscarried. I've tracked my cycle since 2007. I know my body.
We went home, I took a pregnancy test - negative, we lit a candle for the little fetus, and then we went to Houston. I was pretty sick with a cold the whole time I was there. Cut my boardgaming con short. And when we went home I was thinking of doing antibiotics, or stronger medicine. But instinct made me do another pregnancy test. The test blinked "pregnant". Then turned off, So I dragged Kaya to Randalls, which was closed, then Walgreens, and I tested two more times: pregnant.
Andy was at work, so I was alone digesting this news. A couple of hours after the tests I started to cramp. It was mildly painful. Lasted 45 mins. And then the pain stopped. While I was no longer bleeding a lot, I was still spotting. I've spotted constantly since the implantation bleeding at Christmas.
2 nights later, I had cramping, and painful wrap around contractions. The cramps were mostly on my left side.
I made an appointment with the OB, they don't want to see you till 7/8 weeks when they can see something in the ultrasound.
The cramping and spotting were not good signs though. So I got my blood drawn on a Fri, Jan 6.
On Monday, the nurse called me, and said, "Oh shoot. The numbers are not healthy."
My HCG was 104, and my pregesterone was 2.1. The numbers were too low for week 5 of pregnancy. So she wanted me to redraw my blood to see where the HCG was going. I went back that monday, and the lab order was messed up, and instead of testing for HCG, they tested some other useless test. I called the OB office so they had to straighten it out. On Tuesday, I kept waiting for information and they didn't tell me my HCG, but today, Wednesday, one of the nurses sorted it out. My HCG was 46. Which if this was a miscarriage was the numbers we wanted to see. It meant that my body was progressing with the miscarry.
I'm a bit sad. I may be a bit depressed.
It was really strange that this NY Times article was published on Jan 6
I wanted a way to commemorate my tiny fetus, so went to Shoal Creek nursery to get a garden animal. I picked one and as I was about to pay, I saw jizos in their half off sales section. So I got one, and then brought it home.
Last night I cuddled with it a bit as I was sleeping. I like its heavy weight on my heart.
Overall it's been a rough Christmas for me, because I've been sick. I'm still a little bit sick I think, at the tail end. Trying to figure out how not to clench my teeth and continue to make myself feel bad in the awake hours.
It's funny how when I'm sick I don't want sugar. If I don't crave sugar when I'm sick but I do when I'm well, does it mean it's because my WBC are killing the organisms that cause me to crave sugar. If I can exist not craving sugar, how do I make this happen in my normal world.