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April 25th, 2007

sigh

all, thanks for the support. i'm amazed at the amount of support i've gotten so far.

i'm taking today off. my manager is being so nice about it.

when i was young, i would laugh at people who spent thousands of dollars on animals, agreeing that they should spend it on people instead.

but right now i feel so bereft. even though he was just a cat.

he was constantly around. he liked to be where people are. right now, he would have meowed outside my room, wanting to come in. i feel like he should just be around. it was so sudden.

people said he was just like a dog. he even licks me often. people who weren't cat people reluctantly liked him.
i think that cats who were brought up well, socialized well, turn out to be very loving and loyal. of course, ragdolls were a special breed. they would go limp when you pick them up, and even strangers could pick him up and cuddle him.

he was my companion. i miss him terribly.

my roommate's cat isn't even in the house the last few days.

the house feels so empty.

i've a cat-sized hole.

i'm looking at getting another cat already. i'm not really sure what the protocol is on getting another cat after one just died. but i feel really cat-less right now. i want another ragdoll. but considering that the other 2 ragdolls i know of: my old roommate's, and my friends in australia.. both got lost. maybe i should get another breed. and andy is allergic to cats, i think i may try a siberian. they're supposed to be smarter, less allergenic, and have survived for 1000 years. and they come from russia. i am afraid to get another cat. if a cat can kill itself with a table, how can i protect it from everything? i cannot. but i can love it.

when i got caroso, i noticed i become more kissy. because i would cuddle him and kiss him all over. i was single then, not having a man i could hug when i needed one. but caroso was always there, and i would shower him with my kisses. and the contact with another being, of having my exisstence acknowledged by another being.. that was huge.

ps: also, it's rather awkward for me to talk about this in person, it's easier online, over text. but phone or in person conversations about this can be really awkward right now. so if you see me, just give me a hug.