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April 6th, 2014

sleep deprivation

I've been really struggling with sleep. During the first trimester I slept a lot, way more then usual, and almost was sleeping as much as Andy. He has the easiest relationship with sleep.

But sometime in the early second trimester I just found myself waking up at 4 am. And not being able to get back to sleep.

First of all, there is a lot of waking in the night to pee, usually 1-3 times a night. And then there is me tossing and turning. You're supposed to sleep on your left side because of optimum blood flow. Back sleeping is bad. Right sleeping is so so. Tummy sleeping... only achieved by a rare few.

So I'm on my left side. My hips ache. I shift to the right. I get heartburn. I shift left. And I wake up on my back, and then get anxious that the baby did not get optimum blood flow.

Anyways, yesterday was superbly bad and I was tossing and turning from 1 am to 4 pm, and finally gave up for portions of it. I finally fall asleep and Andy's very loud alarms goes off at 9 am. Fuck.

And that bullshit excuse of: it's training you to have the baby. Really. Nature is so terrible that she keeps you awake when you're making another human, and let you start the taking care of a newborn with a backlog of sleep deprivation.

GAH. I am so bitchy when I can't sleep. So fuck yes we are sleep training.