ripresa (ripresa) wrote,

acupuncture, muscle tension, happiness

Well, today is happy. Which is good.. cos I've been out of sorts on Monday and tuesday. Also my chronic neck pain got real bad. And chronic pain in the neck will make me grumpy. I went to an acupuncture session on Wednesday, someone that came highly recommended. And it was very different from the acupuncture I've had before. This was very painful. He does myofascial release stuff, but with needles. He finds the knot, then he puts a needle through it. There is no pain when the needle enters.... then you feel this really weird, pain. Almost like a
mini-toothache spasm in the muscle. And it stays painful or not depending on the knot.. with the hope that eventually the muscle relaxes.
Anyways, after that session on wednesday I felt kinda loopy, and a mix of almost-neasea and just not feeling good. And then I just felt really raw and vulnerable and needy and weird. Weird headspace.  Yeah, I know, kind of woo-woo. But I think teaching my muscles to relax is not just a physical thing.. it's almost a mental thing.

Anyways, so I became more aware of my muscles.. and when taking a nap, I realized that I was tensing up my shoulder and neck muscles. It reminds me of TMJ. For a while, when I woke up in the middle of the night I was clenching my jaw. So I consciously tried to massage and relax my jaw before I slept. It works, and I've stopped.

But then, so I can consciously relax my shoulders.. but my neck.... I can't release it. I mean, I can if I breathe deeply a lot and do mental relaxation.. but I can't just voluntarily relax it. So I woke up at 5 am today when Andy crawled into bed late, and found my whole neck and shoulders all tense. And it made me very unhappy. If you tense your biceps for 5 hours straight, it too will make you very unhappy.

Anyways, thankfully I had another session with my awesome acupuncturist at 9 am. It was even more painful, if that was possible. At one point I almost wanted to say: ENOUGH WITH THE NEEDLES! and I could feel my muscles refusing to relax, it was tough. But I'm sore now, from the acupuncture, but I do feel generally happy.. the pain is not as bad... This time no loopiness or rawness.. just a sense of well-being. And soreness.

In fact, at lunch today, one of my coworkers said that I'm always happy. Which is nice.. And another co-worker in the hallway said: "You look entirely way too happy." And that's not necessarily because of the acupuncture, but because I am really blessed right now. I have an awesome boyfriend who does make me happy, and awesome friendships and I'm doing things that make me happy. And I pay someone to help me release all my neck and shoulder tension.

Now if only I can stop tensing up when I'm sleeping. 
Tags: andy, body, friends, love, tribe
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