ripresa (ripresa) wrote,

The fear of looking stupid is what's stupid.

I took the int/adv ballet class again, and wanted to leave halfway through. This is a class with professional company members, but one of them, Beth, told me that I should stay and tough it out. Just do part of a difficult combination. I confessed that I don't like looking stupid when I try dance stuff and she said that even she feels the same way sometimes. But we have to do that, to grow.

So I stuck it out. I was probably the worst person in that class, I was flailing, and wobbling. And it sucks to feel that way, especially when you've worked at something for so long. At the elementary class, I'm confident enough to dance in front, or start combinations, and yet in the int/adv class it's like starting all over again from the bottom. Everyone is so much better then me.

Beth pointed out that most people are too busy in their head, criticizing themselves, to really take much note of me anyways.

So I finished that class for the first time in a long time, instead of ducking and disappearing midway through like I usually do. There were some combinations I didn't complete, but at least I gave them a shot this time.
Tags: ballet
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