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irritation confession

I posted this on a forum recently, and it's been so quiet on LJ lately anyways... so here you go:

I confess that it irritates me to no end when people say:
"You won't understand till you have children"
"You won't understand till you are married"
"You won't understand till you are in a long-term relationship"

I'm married, and I try not to say annoying shit like that to my single girlfriends. And being married is awesome, but so is being a single and a confident woman.

Being married, or having children, does not make you a happier person. You CHOOSE to be a happier person. Lots of unhappy, fucked up families. There is no one who can make you unhappier then a family member or loved one.

And another thing that irritates me, though I'll probably act like it one day: Acting like you're the first woman who's gone through pregnancy and discovering parenting truths for the first time ever.

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Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
zuleikhajami
Dec. 10th, 2010 12:46 am (UTC)
My related pet peeve to your final one is parents with their first baby proclaiming things about childrearing as though they're experts. I always feel like, "yeah, talk to me when your baby is a teenager or an adult."

I give you permission to (metaphorically) slap me if I ever do that!

ripresa
Dec. 10th, 2010 12:48 am (UTC)
Hahah.. same...
Now that I'm married, people can't say the "You won't understand till you are married..."

But the child thing still applies. I remember having dinner with a fellow Cornellian and she said, "You're not really an adult till you have children."

I'm sure Mother Theresa likes to know she was never really an adult.

pewwy
Dec. 10th, 2010 07:08 am (UTC)
Being married, or having children, does not make you a happier person. You CHOOSE to be a happier person. Lots of unhappy, fucked up families. There is no one who can make you unhappier then a family member or loved one.

Preach on sister! *sways*
dnivie
Dec. 10th, 2010 07:55 am (UTC)
irritation
Aren't they just specific examples of "it's hard to really understand some things, when you ain't experienced them" ?

I agree that's annoying. Some people even toss it around on reflex, I've lost count of, for example, the people on Slashdot who thinks since I disagree with them, I can't have any experience with parenting / relationships / whatever.

And it's *doubly* annoying if people strongly imply that *their* choices are the only ones who lead to a "complete" life, and any other choice, would thus by nessecity mean missing out on important essential pieces of life.

Hello ? ANY choice means saying NO to other choices. Saying *yes* to kids, for example, mean saying NO to a million other things, who is to say those other things cannot be equally worthwhile ?
preservationgal
Dec. 10th, 2010 01:40 pm (UTC)
WORD.
(Anonymous)
Dec. 21st, 2010 05:20 am (UTC)
Agreed, can't stand the "you won't understand till"... I think it's a sign of immaturity on the sayers part, but they will understand when they grow up :)
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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