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struggling with viewing money

i'm really struggling with how to view money. My paychecks are no longer regulated and stable, and i'm being frugal.. almost to the point of being cheap.

but i'm afraid if i let myself be less anxious about money, i would spend as much as i did while i was with dell.

today, i got a parking citation for $511. you read that right. apparently i blocked a disabled access ramp, it was unmarked, there was no disabled parking around it. i took some photos, and will probably take more, and andy and i are going to contest it, and maybe they will reduce it by several hundred dollers.

the city of austin has been changing parking laws, and extending the hours. i got the ticket at 6:52 pm. This was in downtown Austin.

my very stressful saturday is paying for this parking ticket.

but i can't think like that. i hate that i think like that. i cried over the ticket, and i feel sick to my stomach. but i have a very healthy savings, i haven't had to touch it, it's been 3 months since i quit my job. it's like i don't know how to think about money anymore. i can't be crazy spendy, but i don' t have to go crazy cheap and frugal.

why the fuck am i crying over $500?

i need to not care so much.

i need to not care.



Jul. 22nd, 2011 06:42 am (UTC)

I think it's quite normal to be frustrated and sad over a parking-ticket of that magnitude, -especially- when it seems unfair, like this sure does, if the ramp is unmarked it doesn't seem reasonable to expect you to *guess* what it's for.

As for viewing money, my advice would be to try to decouple spending from immediate income, and couple it to *average* income instead. As you say, your income is fluctuating and unknown, but you've got good savings.

So I think a good thing to do would be to have a budget (I'm sure you do already) for spending, and review and adjust periodically.

For example, if you decide to review and adjust every half-year, then your spending should be compared with the *budgeted* spending, not with the (fluctuating and semi-random) income that month.

Basically, you want a smoothing-function for your income.

Oh, and Nadine ?

Surviving the 3 first months as a freelance wedding-photographer without touching spendings is AWESOME, you rock !

Jul. 23rd, 2011 07:31 am (UTC)
i think you're right. i'm putting too much pressure on myself, so if i spend some of my savings, it's okay. it's what i had allocated already.. it's better to look at them on a month to month basis instead of tryign to allocate unsteady income.