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struggling with viewing money

i'm really struggling with how to view money. My paychecks are no longer regulated and stable, and i'm being frugal.. almost to the point of being cheap.

but i'm afraid if i let myself be less anxious about money, i would spend as much as i did while i was with dell.

today, i got a parking citation for $511. you read that right. apparently i blocked a disabled access ramp, it was unmarked, there was no disabled parking around it. i took some photos, and will probably take more, and andy and i are going to contest it, and maybe they will reduce it by several hundred dollers.

the city of austin has been changing parking laws, and extending the hours. i got the ticket at 6:52 pm. This was in downtown Austin.

my very stressful saturday is paying for this parking ticket.

but i can't think like that. i hate that i think like that. i cried over the ticket, and i feel sick to my stomach. but i have a very healthy savings, i haven't had to touch it, it's been 3 months since i quit my job. it's like i don't know how to think about money anymore. i can't be crazy spendy, but i don' t have to go crazy cheap and frugal.

why the fuck am i crying over $500?

i need to not care so much.

i need to not care.

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Comments

ripresa
Jul. 23rd, 2011 07:30 am (UTC)
you're wise :)