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I roused myself out of my blues and boredom, and went to Ballet Austin. It turns out it's been since August since I took ballet.

So class kicked my butt so much. But just going back to the building gave me a sense of home and belonging. And a bunch of the teachers waved at me and people asked me where I've been.

There were a bunch of new girls in class though, and I immediately went into female-evaluating mode. Most women know this. It's when we meet another woman and we do an assessment of her. In the ballet world it's: Is she skinnier than me? Is she a better dancer than me? Is she prettier than me? This girl won on all counts and I could feel myself immediately not liking her.

But WAIT STOP! I learned at Foundation that I was supposed to default to liking people. So I concentrated and just tried to feel love to everyone in my class. Then after class, I saw the girl on the floor taking off her pointe shoes, and I said: "You are a beautiful dancer."

And she beamed and smiled at me, and she turned out to be so friendly and nice, and we had a little bit of a conversation where I made her day better and she made my day better.

So wow.

It's still definitely not default mode to be nice... but at least I'm aware and trying to change, yes?


( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 14th, 2012 03:04 am (UTC)
that's awesome. i try to remind myself that opening up to people and being nice usually has pleasing results, but my default is to be guarded. thanks for reminding me of why i should try to change that!
Feb. 14th, 2012 07:26 am (UTC)
Good for you! :) This opens up so many opportunities for great, new relationships.
Feb. 14th, 2012 08:59 am (UTC)
Yes, go Nadine!

I often try to do the same thing myself these days, and the results are usually quite good.
Feb. 14th, 2012 09:53 am (UTC)
That's cool. I wonder what is the ultimate cause of the female-evaluating-mode. I suppose it comes down to some kind of subconscious "we're competing for attractive mates" thing, because I don't see why it'd otherwise be relevant and negative that a woman is attractive.

It's definitely true that there's a lot of self-fulfilling prophecy in how people behave though; if we expect someone to be hostile, and treat them like a hostile, odds are that they'll be precisely that. (and vice versa)

I tend to like handsome men, allthough I dislike "jocks", but I'm pretty sure that's more down to cultural-collision-issues than body or superiority/inferiority issues.
Mar. 6th, 2012 06:43 am (UTC)
What a wonderful story.

Hey, I know this is so two-months ago, but how did Top Chef end?
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )


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