So class kicked my butt so much. But just going back to the building gave me a sense of home and belonging. And a bunch of the teachers waved at me and people asked me where I've been.
There were a bunch of new girls in class though, and I immediately went into female-evaluating mode. Most women know this. It's when we meet another woman and we do an assessment of her. In the ballet world it's: Is she skinnier than me? Is she a better dancer than me? Is she prettier than me? This girl won on all counts and I could feel myself immediately not liking her.
But WAIT STOP! I learned at Foundation that I was supposed to default to liking people. So I concentrated and just tried to feel love to everyone in my class. Then after class, I saw the girl on the floor taking off her pointe shoes, and I said: "You are a beautiful dancer."
And she beamed and smiled at me, and she turned out to be so friendly and nice, and we had a little bit of a conversation where I made her day better and she made my day better.
It's still definitely not default mode to be nice... but at least I'm aware and trying to change, yes?