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Nadine's rules to live by

Throughout my twenties, I've told myself: 90% of life is showing up.
It's actually a bastardization of what Woody Allen said, and it's what made me take classes, go to parties, or an event with lots of people I don't know. As a result, I have a pretty diverse friend group and hobbies.

I'm more of a homebody married woman now. I don't like to drive, and working from home means I'm more isolated. And it gets harder to leave the house.
But Andy was away and I forced myself to drive through traffic to go to a coffeeshop to hang out with people. And it was rewarding.

Anyways, I finally have a new rule: Avoid toxic people, no matter how shiny and sparkly they are.

This one is harder to stick to for me. I think it's just part of human evolution. In "Steal like an Artist", one of their chapters was: Find the most successful person in the room, and stick next to them.

In photography, there are rockstars. And usually at parties everyone wants to talk to them, and get all their pearls of wisdom. I'm sure it's the same way in most fields.

But generally, I'm finding that you can get pearls of wisdom from the quieter people in the room, and it wouldn't be such a feeding frenzy.

I've had friends who are charismatic and shiny, and super attractive. They're the kind of people that make you feel attractive and successful just to be next to them. But they will randomly just say something hurtful, and they're trying to be funny. And I have a really really hard time quitting those people. But they're toxic, and I need to avoid them.

Because it's not worth it to surround yourself with shiny, sparkly people who will randomly just cut you down.

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
themooselet
Feb. 26th, 2014 08:26 am (UTC)
Wise, very wise. I know a few of those shiny, hard people --sadly, a couple are close family so I'm not going to cut them out, plus, 95% of the time they are fine, until they make those unnecessarily hurtful comments --not out of malice or envy, but cluelessness? Perhaps having a thicker skin than mine and not really getting why the comment may hurt?

Oh well. I did eventually learn to stay away from "friends" with those proclivities, especially the extreme cases who paired charm with maddening unreliability.
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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