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sleep deprivation

I've been really struggling with sleep. During the first trimester I slept a lot, way more then usual, and almost was sleeping as much as Andy. He has the easiest relationship with sleep.

But sometime in the early second trimester I just found myself waking up at 4 am. And not being able to get back to sleep.

First of all, there is a lot of waking in the night to pee, usually 1-3 times a night. And then there is me tossing and turning. You're supposed to sleep on your left side because of optimum blood flow. Back sleeping is bad. Right sleeping is so so. Tummy sleeping... only achieved by a rare few.

So I'm on my left side. My hips ache. I shift to the right. I get heartburn. I shift left. And I wake up on my back, and then get anxious that the baby did not get optimum blood flow.

Anyways, yesterday was superbly bad and I was tossing and turning from 1 am to 4 pm, and finally gave up for portions of it. I finally fall asleep and Andy's very loud alarms goes off at 9 am. Fuck.

And that bullshit excuse of: it's training you to have the baby. Really. Nature is so terrible that she keeps you awake when you're making another human, and let you start the taking care of a newborn with a backlog of sleep deprivation.

GAH. I am so bitchy when I can't sleep. So fuck yes we are sleep training.

Comments

zuleikhajami
Apr. 7th, 2014 05:02 pm (UTC)
I don't want to start a potential argument on your lj thread, so I'll just say that if you want to email me privately for an alternative perspective on breastfeeding vs. formula, please do.

I know that in the home birth circles, sleep training is a big no-no, but I don't understand why. It's crazy to me. Babies and parents all sleep better. How is this anything other than a good thing?

I don't have any specific books to recommend. I liked Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child for an idea of the science behind infant sleep, but Weissbluth's method was a little too hardcore for me. We ended up hiring a sleep coach and using her method, which I love. Her method is to teach the baby to sleep by showing the baby how to calm herself with a small comfort blanket. As the baby gets older and SIDS is less relevant, she recommends adding small stuffed toys, too. We also use a white noise machine to add a sound cue for when nap/bedtime is over.

What we liked best about her method is that the parent is allowed to actively interact with the child during the initial sleep teaching period, which was easier for us than just walking away. The parent is functionally teaching the child how to comfort herself by demoing it.

IIRC, we started around 4 months and SB slept through the night for the first time around 5 months. She had periodic night wakings but always put herself back to sleep. It really was exactly what all the books said; the first weekend was rough and then the rest of it was all about establishing a solid nap schedule and night weaning.

And now we still have a consistent nap and bedtime schedule. We have a little routine but once she's in her crib, we walk away. If she's not ready for sleep yet, she plays with her crib toys. We don't have to stay in her room until she's solidly asleep. It makes life a lot easier.

If you want, I can add you to my baby friend's list and you can go back and read my lj posts from when we did sleep training.