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baby: aug 20

I'm sleep deprived. and this is with baby having 2 sleep stretches during the day that are 4 hours or 5 hours long. However, she is nocturnal and so we need to figure out how to get those sleep stretches at night! or for me to sleep from 6 am to 2 pm.

That said, from what I understand, we have a relatively chill baby compared to other parents. No wonder other parents freak their shit the first few weeks.

Also, Andy dude. He took the night shift last night.

i have blood blisters on my left boob :(

Breastfeeding sucks. i have a personal goal of 6 weeks. If I can make it to then, then I'm going to be happy. It doesn't matter what the lactation-mafia thinks (thanks for the term, Eivind).
We have spent so much money on breastfeeding already! Renting a hospital grade pump, all the different breast feeding tools (latch assist, shields, nipple covers, bras, lactation consultant, milk cookies!).

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( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
athene
Aug. 20th, 2014 04:16 pm (UTC)
I think you're doing an excellent job! I know I read something somewhere on how to get a baby to adjust to night being night and day being day, but I don't remember where.

Everyone always says the first six weeks of breastfeeding is the hardest. You're doing really well. Make the best descisions for you and your baby. You are the only ones in that diad who know what is best for you.
zuleikhajami
Aug. 20th, 2014 09:59 pm (UTC)
I got blood blisters, too. They SUCKED! Lactation consultants are such lying liars with the whole "breastfeeding doesn't hurt with a proper latch" claim. Sure, it doesn't hurt AFTER nipples have gotten desensitized but there's the whole before that point where it hurts like a MoFo.

6 weeks seems like a good goal. That's long enough to know whether the difficulty is just learning curve or problems that aren't worth pushing through.

Hopefully, her sleep cycle will shift on its own as her body figures out light cues.
floppyghost
Aug. 21st, 2014 08:56 am (UTC)
The thing is -- I'm really pro-breastfeeding. I have heard, and I accept the long list of advantages that exist for both mother and child when it works well.

BUT, and to me it's a pretty big but, (and yes, that's totally colored by the frankly SHITTY way I saw my wife being treated when ultimately breastfeeding didn't work out so well for her despite weeks and weeks of trying.)

BUT, I'm really critical of the way women who cannot, or will not (for whatever reason) breastfeed are so frequently shamed and made to feel as if they're somehow inferior as mothers. That's complete bullshit. And yet, it's kinda hard to avoid I suppose. If you hammer really hard on the "breastfeeding has many BIG advantages" button, then it sorta logically follows that NOT breastfeeding has many big disadvantages by comparison.

And it's noticeable that it's a COMPLETE taboo to mention any of the advantages you get when you do not breastfeed. It's as if it's forbidden to say that. Well, they exist. Here's a few of the advantages we experienced after we eventually gave up on it: (I'm NOT saying I recommend dropping it, I'm just saying it's a legitimate choice, and it does not make people bad parents!)

1) It makes it possible for the father and mother to have a more equal role in the first ~6 months of the babys life. Breastfeeding automatically means that dad is sidelined for feeding.

2) It adds flexibility. Having to be physically present with your baby every few hours day-and-night (or pump and store) is a hassle, Silvia started working about 2 months after the birth, I'm not saying that'd have been IMPOSSIBLE to combine with breastfeeding, but it wouldn't have been trivial either.

3) Trying and trying and trying with scant success is really frustrating, and also sometimes painful. A relaxed and happy mother with formula is better than a stressed-out and frustrated mother who breastfeeds.

I think your choice, of setting a limit and seeing whether it works or not by that date sounds sensible. I also think that whatever choice you make, people should stop pushing you around about it. Because ALL THE CHOICES ARE OK. Really, they are.

themooselet
Aug. 21st, 2014 04:26 pm (UTC)
Very well said.

The first advantage you mention was huge for us --it wasn't the reason we quit (my child self weaned at 4 months due to low supply), but the fact that my partner could take the night shift made a big difference in my sanity and our family dynamics.
sylke
Aug. 21st, 2014 04:32 pm (UTC)
Om nom milk cookies. Mother's Milk tea! Beer! (Yes, alcohol interferes with letdown but the hops helps milk production. And alcohol is relaxing for Mama, and a relaxed Mama has better letdown, so there, LLL.) Fenugreek tablets so you can smell like artificial maple syrup! Stay hydrated! Yadda yadda.

Breastfeeding really sucks in the beginning. If it's going to get better for you, then it'll be way easier by 6 weeks. If it's still torture? I'm gonna side with "relaxed and happy formula-feeding mom over stressed and miserable breastfeeding mom" all the way. If you wanna chat breastfeeding woes, please feel free to hit me up on FB. I loved the experience, but even when the lactation consultant said that A and I were a good match, it was seriously uncomfortable for a few weeks until the whole desensitizing process happened.
themooselet
Aug. 21st, 2014 04:35 pm (UTC)
Get it
Yep, what you wrote. I came out of the whole early parenting experience with a big hatred for La Leche League and all militant breastfeeding advocates, for their wholly unscientific claim that "Any woman CAN breastfeed exclusively! (and if it isn't working for you, then you aren't trying)".

I tried, and tried and tried to breastfeed exclusively. We started supplementing after a month since my son was clearly starving, but I kept trying: fenugreek, malt drinks, oatmeal, pumping, cluster feeding. You name it, we did it. It did not work.

I understand the benefits of breastfeeding, but they are not the be-all, end-all of motherhood or child health, and a child who is formula fed will be just fine.

Hang in there.
floppyghost
Aug. 23rd, 2014 08:58 am (UTC)
Re: Get it
Precisely this. "Anyone can" combined with "it has HUGE benefits for mother and child!" tends to combine and produce: "You must not be trying hard enough if it's not working so great for you - don't you care about what's best for your child ?" which is hardly a accepting message.

Breastfeeding is great. Piling on the shame of those women who either has practical problems getting it to work, or just plain don't want to, is however NOT GREAT.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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