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gender equality is a lie.

I have several thoughts about parenting and gender that I need to one day coalesce into an essay.

Basically. You think that gender equality is bad? Wait till you have a baby. I started seeing an inkling of it when I took Andy to the baby wearing meetings, and there were 80 woman and 3 men. And only one other was really participating, the others were on their phone, or looking bored.

Then Andy would be hanging out at flipside reading a birth book, and people would be like: "Oh, you're so supportive!".

He is half of the parental unit!!!

So a few days ago, I was looking at facebook, and I saw my friend Kaci (hey Kaci!) in a photo with some out of town improvisors. And I felt this twinge of jealousy. The jealousy was over that she is out and about in a social event, and she can just go out and socialize when she wanted to. And I felt trapped.

I think feeling trapped is a common feeling among new parents. But I don't like feeling it at all.

The thing that brings me one of my most consistant pleasure in life, since I was young... was being able to go out and eat my favorite food, and read a book. And I felt sad that it would be difficult for me to just go out to my fav thai place and read a book.

Then I went and felt sorry for myself.

And then, the next day, the doctor said I could drive. And I was like fuckkkk it, I'm going to go have sushi and read a book. Andy took care of the baby, while I did that, and I felt sooooooooooooooo good. I was so happy after that.

The same day we left the baby and I went to his roast and laugh so much.

And I realized, I can have a life. It's my choice to leave the baby. I love the baby so much. But I also need to keep sane.

Several of the due club women remarked that I had social engagements already! How could I leave the baby so early?!

And the answer is: A father who pulls his weight.

Since Andy shares parental care, I get to go out too! I don't understand women who say that they haven't been out and left their kid since they gave birth 2 years ago. WTF. What happened to your life, your dreams, and your goals???

I told Andy yesterday that I don't think I'll have postpartum depression! And he starts laughing. But it's true. As long as I can go to my parties once in a while, and go out and have thai food and read a book, I think I'll turn out okay.

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ripresa
Sep. 4th, 2014 01:43 pm (UTC)
It went away for me.

It may come back, but lots of ways to manage it!