For a while I had 2 therapists, one covered under insurance, the typical talk therapy you see on TV. And the other one one (not covered by insurance) was an anxiety specialists, where part of the therapy was exposure therapy. Think about a horrible thing happening to your loved one and write it down.
They both were helpful, but I paused the anxiety therapist because 1. It was expensive 2. It was hard as shit. And now I know how to do exposure therapy myself (and so do you, go write down horrible things you’re afraid of. Read it regularly. Eventually it numbs you, and you realize magical thinking doesn’t work. Thoughts != real life)
Therapy led me to mindfulness and NLP. Both of which I’m still exploring.
* Ballroom Dancing!
I regularly was taking private lessons at Fred Astaire and I have improved by leaps and spins in Ballroom dancing. I also took classes at Uptown and Go Dance, and also the occasional socials at Austin Ballroom. There was a lot of ballroom dancing in my life, which is great. Yes, there are terrible videos of me doing ballroom dancing (and even worse hip hop). I might share some next year.
I finished writing my second book with my husband. This one is in revisions stage, and Andy has mostly taken revisions because my leisure time has dropped. Having written is easier. Revisions and editing are also hard. Why are so many worthwhile things hard?
I felt like I was constantly working for a while. Juggling photography and teaching high school students is tricky. I’m learning a ton by teaching AP Computer Sciences to kids though. Teenagers! You no longer scare me!
We did a lot of small trips this year. Maybe too much. But i'm reminded that when we look back on relationships, location changes is what sticks in your mind. It's so easy for days to blur together. So we wanted to make memories. That said, it would've been nice to have more leisure vacation days where we just stayed home. But we would've probably just done errands. My daughter continues to be a delight, and is becoming a force.
Overall, I felt this year I’ve grown some skills, like being able to be silent and observe, around me and inside me. I’m starting to be more aware of my triggers, and the routines that I’m stuck in (a la West World). In some ways I’m both more empathetic and also more critical of people.
I don’t like New Year’s Resolutions because I think they set you up to fail. What most people need is regular free time and space to think and reflect, and I think that’s what causes changes to stick. So I will continue to try to make that mindful space in my life.
Happy New Year! May 2019 lift us up and bring us contentment and mindfulness.